TODAY.
I was calm and pissed yesterday. But i cried my heart out this morning when i was in the bus . i received very comforting messages. and when my mother actually message me this " Mummy loves you and wish that i am there for you. hope that everything will be fine . " i totally cried out. because even though we are 12 hours away from each other, she stayed up to comfort me. when i reach school , i held back my tears. but i couldnt hold it any longer and tears welled up in my eyes and rolled down my cheeks. my friends were shocked because this was the first time they had seen me cry and really badly. many came to give me a comforting hug. Thank you to all those who comforted me today. your hugs were really comforting. when they hugged me , they told me that everything's going to be fine. some said that we'll patch back . but something tells me this is it. i lied to myself that i dont love him anymore. to make myself stop crying. but i cant control myself. i kept crying the whole day. i cried on my way home. then when i reach home, i cried again. when my grandma saw how sad i was , she cried too. ya, you all will say " So Drama la " but if you're here , you would cry too . wanyu felt like crying when i cried. sigh. yukie told me something . " if he waits for you and tries to get back with you , it shows that his love for you is really something. "

If we broke up because we had some conflict , quarrel or felt that we're not meant to be together, i will conceit to fate. but this is a forced break up . and this drama has been on for like a really long time , to me , its the norm. i'm not really affected by it. but i dont know how he is taking it. sigh. one minute , they approve and one minute, they disapprove. they said all the bad stuff which some of which is not true. they made me look bad in front of his parents. I've never been so humiliated in my life . He said that he would marry me. I was super shocked. but this proves that how much he loves me. my parents ask me to marry him. -.- ''' arent they making things difficult ? i've never seen someone become berserk in the middle of the night before. arent you calm when you saw me ? why the suddenly craziness ? when i saw him , i was totally embarrassed. and its my fault so they're embarrassing themselves too . say put the past aside? you want to brush that away because its my fault ? then you rake up the past again ? telling all kinds of shit that you've threaten ? cant i have some company ? cant i at least experience someone who loves me ? cant i just have some fun. you've made my teenage memories SUCK. and thank you very much for that. AND FYI , I HAVE MONEY MYSELF AND I DONT TAKE FROM MY GRANDMA OR MUM. Dont know , dont talk shit. i have my ways to get money .

in conclusion , my love life has been a rollercoaster ride. be it we'll be together or not , time will tell.