Although this is a very crude post , i'll still keep it for memory (:
I went for training today . quite fun . very tedious but fun. wow. i think i'm like a kid magnet . and ethan said i was flirting . WTF. you jealous that little kids like me isit ? talking about little kids. FUCK. When is my period coming ? I change my mind. TOTALLY. i dont want a child now. FUCK FUCK FUCK. and you were acting like an asshole. kick me , scold me , embarrass me infront of everyone then you left without saying a goodbye. seriously , FUCK YOU . i wanted to spend time with you , then you told me sunday . fine. i accept it . because you're working . i understand. but whats with the kick me , scold me then leave ? god knows where you were in a hurry to go to. I tried my best to be a good girlfriend. i really did. i try my very best to meet up with you , spend more time with you . adjust to your new working life . dress more maturely. being fake just to suit your liking , be friends with your friends , get to know them better so maybe we could all go out and enjoy some other time. but sometimes, i just feel that i'm just your toy . seriously . i wanted to talk to you today . but you insisted that you were not free. so i didnt bother to question you further. I am looking for a boyfriend which could last till we get married . a boyfriend who would plan for our future. i'm NOT looking for just a " passing boat " . since secondary one , i've always thought that you were the one for me. despite the many times i rejected you , you still continued to go after me. i admire your determination. and i can truly see that you LOVED me. actually , there are alot of loop holes in this relationship that you dont know. i hope that we could meet up soon to settle this issue. and yes, i still love and respect you . and i hope that you would give me the same respect too. not as your student but as your girlfriend even though i know that my place in your heart is no longer there. If you care about me , you would read my blog and hopefully , you'll understand. i really hope that you would be open-minded and be mature enough to take this post. there would always be one phrase which would always motivate me in this relationship . " Whenever you feel like giving up , remember why you held on for so long in the first place . "